


Ask the New Guy

by RunTheJewels



Series: Bane of Legends [1]
Category: Apex Legends (Video Games)
Genre: Humor, M/M, i like to think im funny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2021-02-01 01:02:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21305051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RunTheJewels/pseuds/RunTheJewels
Summary: "What can I say, brudda? I got a way with the fellas."
Series: Bane of Legends [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1535969
Kudos: 22





	Ask the New Guy

**Author's Note:**

> I want to say this is the worst thing I've ever made but I'm worried I'll take it as a challenge

The stranger struck the punching bag once, twice. Hard, fast, thundering blows that were as precise as they were practiced. Someone’s been on the receiving end of those punches, Elliot guessed. Someone’s had their ribcage reduced to a fine powder as well. Like powdered sugar. On donuts! Man, he was hungry. 

“Sizing up the new guy already, Witt?” 

The Witt on sudden trial twisted his head towards Anita’s bunk, where she lay one leg crossed over the other, polishing a rather terrifying knife to an equally terrifying sheen. “We’re not allowed to have weapons on the ship, you know.” 

“They’re welcome to come and take it.” She pointed the edge in the direction of Bloodhound’s space. “If they take their’s first.” 

Elliot’s head swiveled towards and then back. “Yeah, that’s never gonna happen.” 

“And life goes on, Witt.” 

“Yeah, maybe I am measuring up the new guy.” Elliot picked up one of the action figures near his head and started playing with it, moving the arms and legs back and forth in moves he could probably never do in real life. Not that he’d ever admit to it. With the accompanying sounds because why not. His eyes flicked upwards and locked with Ajay, sitting in her usual spot on that ratty old couch no one would change and tuning up her pet drone. Elliot lifted the toy’s hand and waved it at her. She just smiled and rolled her eyes. 

Beside Ajay, Makoa beat the air with her drumsticks. “And what is the great Witt’s verdict?” He loudly demanded. 

“When did I become ‘Witt’? What happened to Elliot?” 

“Alright, what is is the great Ellie’s verdict?” 

“Ugh, no. Go back to Witt.” 

“Too late, brudda. I’m a man of habit.” 

Elliot let out a long, exaggerated sigh. Then looked again. Stranger hadn’t heard them. Or was ignoring them. Great, more weird recluses. His shoulder still ached from the last one. “He’s quiet?” 

Makoa cackled. “Smartest guy on the ship, right here!” 

“What do you want from me? I don’t know the guy.” Elliot’s shoulders jumped in a shrug. “He’s tall.” Makoa just laughed at him again. “Oh, you’re just mad cause he’s taller than you, Gib.” 

Makoa laughed even harder. Even Ajay had her face buried in D.O.C, her shoulders shaking. “I mean, its gotta sting, right?” Elliot went on, “Being demoted. No longer being, ‘the big guy’.” 

Ajay hummed. “Bet credits Caustic’s feeling it worse.” 

Anita stopped cleaning. “Caustic feels?” 

“I don’t know, brudda.” Makoa turned around to look at the new guy, eyes roving over the flexing shoulders, back, lower and then even lower. “It has its benefits.” Ajay sucked her teeth and shoved him, barely managing to rock the ever-laughing man. “If you’ve got questions, Ellie, go ask the new guy.” 

Elliot was already shaking his head. “No. Nope. Not again. Never again.” 

“Scared, Witt?” Anita sheathed the blade and stood, stretching her arms high above her head. 

“Just because I don’t like the thought of being thrown like a small rock doesn’t mean I’m afraid.” 

Ajay nodded her head to one side. “You’re afraid of being thrown.” 

“Quiet, you.” 

“You went about it all wrong the last time, Ellie.” Makoa grunted as he got to his feet and rounded the couch. “Gotta be gentle with them.” 

“Gentle-they’re not horses!” 

Makoa stepped around the new guy and put a hand on his shoulder. The stranger stopped in his abuse of the punching bag and Elliot’s eyebrows nearly flew off his head. Makoa was speaking to him. From their distance, nothing could be made out. Makoa gestured back towards the couch and his hand lowered from the man’s shoulder to the base of his back. The stranger’s head turned just slightly to look at them then back to Makoa before finally raising his chin in some kind of agreement. Makoa beamed and let his hand drop. 

“Wooow, okay. How the heck is that fair?” 

Makoa had parted from the stranger and was walking back towards the dining area. “What can I say, brudda? I got a way with the fellas.” The big man twisted around and aimed a pair of finger guns back at them. “Wink!” 

Ajay lost it. “Hey, that’s my move!” Elliot let his righteous indignation be known over her raucous cackling. The stranger rolled his shoulders and turned around, making his way over to them. He rounded and dropped onto the couch, hard enough to make Ajay nearly fly out the other end. Surprisingly, she glared at him. Even more surprisingly, his bearded face twisted into a smile. And just when Elliot thought he was done being surprised, D.O.C. leapt out of Ajay’s lap and moved to the stranger’s. 

“So Ajay knows him. Makoa knows him. Anita, do you know him?!” 

“We’ve met,” she answered bluntly, moving to take his place at the punching bag. The stranger's fist rose up when she got close and she bumped it with her own as she passed by.

Makoa returned a minute later, a bottle of water in hand. “Gotta learn to be friendlier, Ellie. It’ll do you some good.” He let out a short, sharp whistle and when the stranger twisted around, he tossed the bottle. The man snatched it easily out of the air.

“Oh, give me a break. If I was any friendlier, I’d be married to half of you!” Elliot thought about it. “Except not you.” He gestured to Makoa. “On account of you being taken and all.” 

“Elliot and Caustic Witt,” Ajay said under her breath. 

“Don’t.” 

Makoa dropped back onto the couch, squeezing himself into the small space the stranger left between himself and Ajay, suffocating the poor woman. He jerked a thumb at the new guy. “You wouldn’t be married to him either, brudda.” 

How dare he. Elliot was a catch! But before he could demand clarification, the stranger rumbled, “You’re cheating, Makoa.” 

“Cheating at what?” Elliot asked. 

“Hey! The bet said nothing about...guiding him.” 

“Bet about what?!” 

The two continued to ignore him. “It pretty explicitly did.” 

“Not explicitly.” 

“Now you’re just nitpicking.”

“Hey!” Elliot called. “How does everyone know him but me? Why are they arguing like an old married couple?!” 

Excitement crossed Makoa’s face. “Doesn’t count,” the stranger murmured.

“What doesn’t count?” 

“For the love of-” Anita stopped in her punching to spin around. “These two are married, Witt!” 

The fire left Elliot as quickly as it came, leaving him, rather comically, deflated. 

“They had a bet going,” Ajay finally, mercifully explained. “Makoa bet you’d figure it out on your own. Marek, here…” she gestured over to the stranger. 

The stranger, Marek, waved once. “‘Sup.” 

“Bet that you’d need to be told.” 

Elliot could now see that Marek was letting Makoa lean on him. Was he stupid? Of course he wasn’t but he must be. How did he not know? 

Marek nudged Makoa off. “Anita was a neutral party so a deal’s a deal. Go find Silvia, get his money. Get me and Natalie our food.” 

Makoa grumbled but stood and Ajay breathed again. “Extra pepperoni,” Marek called after him, “Nat likes supreme.”

All of Elliot’s pretend fury left at the mention of pizza. “I want a cut.” 

“Deal.”

“But really, how have we never met?” Elliot, realizing he had been standing the whole time, dropped onto his bed with a groan.

“Remember your birthday party?” 

He chortled. “Yeeeaaah.” 

“Remember how drunk you got?” 

“Yeeaaah. But no.” Octavio challenged him to a drinking contest. He woke up in the shower. Water on. Clothing on. But he won so there was that.

“And you called me and Makoa….” Marek led, gesturing for Elliot to finish his thought. 

Gears spun and spun within the man’s head. If this were some kind of cartoon like the one Elliot would never admit he still watched, there’d be smoke pouring from his ears, stinking up the game room. 

But when it clicked, Elliot was on his feet in an instant, pointing. “M&M!!!” He crowed, “M&M, I remember you now!” 

“Great.” Marek grimaced but smiled. It was a terrible nickname, wasn’t it? Makoa probably loved it. 

He fell back with a contented sigh, all right with the world once again. Suddenly, he craned his neck to look at them. “Anyone wanna bet I can think of something worse? Anyone? Anyone at all?” 

Reactions were varied. Marek raised his hands in mock surrender. Ajay denied him outright. Anita didn’t even dignify him with a response and Makoa, not even knowing what the prize would be, yelled at him to double it from across the way. 

  
  
  



End file.
